Part of the difficulty of forming good relationships is that we can't easily tell what the level of emotional maturity might be of the people we meet.
There are few outward signs of the quality.
Someone might ostensibly seem very grown-up while still being stubbornly a young child inside.
They might have lots of degrees testifying to their intelligence, and yet still be highly primitive in their psychological functioning.
They could be eloquent about the theory of sound psychological conduct and hopeless about the practice.
Nevertheless, it can help to at least begin with a sense of what it is we should be looking out for in terms of markers of emotional maturity so that we may know as early as possible who we have on our hands and what our options might be.
Here are some of the key questions we might ask ourselves of our new partners.
1. Could this person bear the terrors of opening themselves up to another's love and acknowledge, without too much fear, the depth of their need for someone else?
Could they let you look after them, and in turn, could they look after you?
Could they bear to love without holding on to excessive independence?
